Fake Breakup, Magic Syrup

Written By: Emily Brosier

Have you ever met someone on Tinder or Bumble or whatever and felt like there might actually be something real there? And when I say this I don’t mean that I become overcome with the sound of wedding bells ringing to the tune Bryan Adams Heaven and drop all of my plans to try on wedding dresses at Goodwill, I just start simply thinking with the slightest glimmer of hope that maybe a potential monogamous relationship could arise. I come to this conclusion many times if I’m being frank. And well, that’s just a big Tinder NOPE.

Hookup culture is real, especially for young twenty-somethings and lonely souls like myself. And to the outsider, who may not be living in this hellish society of one night stands and what I consider to be bi-weekly hookups, it might not seem like dangerous territory to start thinking about actually dating the person or ask for a nice date in public for once. But, it is dangerous terrain to trek. After sharing my oddly specific taste in music with a stranger and drinking at least two bottles of wine together, I find it odd that these strict guidelines for how-to and how-not-to begin a relationship still exist. It’s 2019, cheese and rice! Let’s get past the new modern-day conventions of romance and slap some labels on! 

Below is a playlist dedicated to the tinder guy who unmatched me after he realized I caught “the feels.” Filled with classic breakup indie jams, sorrowful love mixes, and the occasional longing for love ode, this playlist is the perfect fit for moving up and moving on from a post-non-existent breakup.